lately i have been thinking about how much i miss creating performance art. most of my creative time has been spent making jewelry. while satisfying and money making (both very important to me as a self-employed artist), there is just something about being hunched over a dusty dirty bench that can never compare to a huge open studio space and bodies moving together.

this pic may have to be my inspirational jumping off place…

I am always a bit sad to miss the monthly Trance Dance, and especially so in January when everyone sets their intention for the year and dances it deeply into their bodies. Still, for the past few years, I have been participating from afar and that has been good as well.

So when I read Anita’s post on Tuesday, I asked her to pick a letter for me from the ones that had not been claimed on Monday night.  In her email sent to me yesterday, I learned that my letter for the year is “B.”

Now don’t get me wrong.  ”B” is a perfectly good letter.  It is even the first letter of my last name.  But in my heart of hearts, it wasn’t the letter that I wanted.  I was sending out for a “C” (Creativity, Communication, Courage, Compassion - all things I want and need more of).  Or maybe even a “P” (Paint, Play, Pray/Meditate – which have been my standard resolutions for many years now).

But no, I got a “B” and had no choice except to embrace it.

This New Year I was not drawn to create resolutions, list goals, or make bold promises. This New Year I am called to live where my feet are at any given moment. Why my feet? One possibility is that they are not my head and in fact are no where near my head. My head, aka my mind, likes to wander, scatter itself all over the place, and muse about a lot of things (don’t get too excited…things like, dust bunnies, grocery shopping, dog pee).

I needed something to bring to my trance dance group last night. We were journal writing and dancing into the New Year. Usually we use a writing prompt brought to us years ago by Patti: Oh 2012, that was the year of ________, and then we write as if the year has already happened.

I was wanting something more (needing something stronger to pull me away from dog pee and firmly plant me in the present moment). But I also wanted something simple, as most people I talk to are feeling too complicated right now.

My InterPlay mentor and teacher, Cynthia Winton- Henry brought the perfect thing (click on her name for the whole blog post). Here is a line from her short, sweet, and seductive suggestion: ” That is why my letter for 2012 is Q for quiet, for quest, for question. may my heart be open. what is your letter for the year?”

Taking her lead, I made a bunch of cards with letters of the alphabet on them and let each participant choose one. I asked them to come up with three words that began with the letter to help guide them into the New Year. Our trance dance is broken into three 20 minutes sections and I invited them to hold one word at a time as an intention and then gave them a few minutes to journal or draw between each dance segment.

We also had some time at the beginning to write using our “old” writing prompt and our “new” alphabet letter invitation. Surprisingly or serendipitously (is that a word?) I also chose the letter “Q”. Here is the beginning of my journal entry:

Oh, 2012, that was the year of possibility, of Quivering into the Quiet Question and knowing, YES!

Here is a picture of the letters that did not get chosen last night. Pick one and let me know what your letter is for the year!

Here’s to living where our feet are planted in every moment of 2012!

Day 2 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck

Last week I brought the idea of connection to my InterPlay class.  Phil Porter introduced the idea of small circles of connection  a few years ago and I love to play with it often when leading groups.

Finish this sentence: I belong to a small circle of people who ________?  Some answers from last week’s class:

• wear hats all year long
• have my own website
• have red hair
• would not be caught dead without lipstick

From the ridiculous to the sublime these are the ways we connect with one another, find our intersections, or lack thereof.

Using the InterPlay Inspiration Deck, I asked the group to each pick a card. I invited them to hold loosely and lightly the question: Is there something that could help me feel more connected to myself and to others? Something that would aid and guide me when I am feeling stuck or scared in my relationship to myself or others?

Here are a few of the cards that were chosen:

• following and leading
• stillness
• improvise

I led the group through a variety of experiences using movement, noticing and contact.

Everyone had profound noticings about how to use their particular card to help them have more of what they want and desire in connection to themselves and those around them.

I will share some of my own. I used the closed eyes shuffle approach to choose my card. I got Following and Leading. The first exercise we did was a solo dance in our own small dance bubble. This was followed by a medium dance bubble solo dance and then a large bubble solo dance. The medium and large bubbles overlapped with other people’s bubbles which helped to begin the investigation of connecting with others. At first I was unsure about how to do following and leading with myself. Within minutes though I was filled with ideas: use my right side to lead and my left to follow, set up a pattern and follow it, take something in the room and follow that, use my feet to lead and my hands to follow. And when the dance bubbles overlapped I had even more fun following and leading with the bodies I came in contact with (whether they were actually aware of me or not!)

Some of my noticings about following and leading:

1. setting up something very simple and repetitive works best. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)
2. it is impossible to follow and lead at the same time. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)
3. when I am not clearly leading nor passionately following the dance falls apart. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)

Now it is your turn. Get your own deck and explore the possibilities!

I will not tap my feet.
Though the rhythms and melodies you play
Conger up kicking off shoes and
Dancing barefoot in the grass,
I will not tap my feet.

Though my heart beats faster at the
Melodic buildup — as horn and keys
Latch together in the repetition of a theme,
Calling my heart and toes to a
Dance of thrill and amazement –
But no, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet, nor
Nod my head; though everything
In me is crying out for some kind of movement
To occur!
No, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet
When the guitar and sax drop out
To let bass and drums chase percussively
After each other in a playful, astoundingly
Structureless cadenza, filled with
Impulsive demands.
Even then, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet.
Though the pianist has spontaneously
Created a bit of magical funk
That was never previously inserted
In this “standard” of jazz stalwarts.
No, I will not tap my feet.

What’s this!
Did my head just nod a bit?
Unbidden, I can barely restrain myself
From rising straight to the dance floor,
For now, the whole ensemble is returning
To the original theme by some inaudible
Twist of jive and thrive.

Oh yes, I cannot just tap my feet:
I must move my head and spine and arms entwine,
Must move my torso, and more so
My feet.

when i saw stan’s blog post i thought, “what is a word cloud?” since i was staring at one i decided to change the questions to, “what can one do with a word cloud?” the first kind of question makes me go into that scrunched up place between my eyebrows, the hard focuser as we call it in InterPlay, as i become busy trying to figure it out.

the second question makes me relax that hard focuser, soften my gaze, and see the cloud as a beautiful shape on the page, full of color, texture, and intrigue. it truly is a mandala!

i notice that i start to burst with enthusiasm and ideas: i could turn it into a jewelry piece, or do a dance about it, or sing the edges of it because i notice there are alcoves where my voice can hide or bellow……since this is a blog and i have words to play with, how about a big run on sentence using what pops into my field of vision in no particular order?

okay, here i go!

why shrink with insignificance and write small always when Facebook creates tension at the center of forgiveness and a loving embrace shows Anita an instance of now.

give it a try, it is totally fun!!  remember, keep an easy focus!

(excerpted from an earlier journal entry with an added musing for this last day of 2010)

I always wondered what made it so appealing to my father, my brother, and now, my nephew: they plan their trips, arrange their gear, and leave in the wee hours of the morning to board a boat that will take them way out to sea to go fishing.

Last month my dad took J.J. and the waves were so big they had to tie him down. I tried to picture him in my mind — all 65 pounds of him — a rope around his waist, a huge fishing pole in his hands, and the biggest smile gracing his sweet, young face.  The captain promised a day of gigantic flounder.  The whole group caught only one and J.J. spent most of the day below deck, reading. My dad, cold, wet, and discouraged stayed on deck, rod in hand — waiting.

“Will you go next month,” I asked when he called to tell me the Saturday night flounder feast had turned into a chicken BBQ.

“Absolutely! Even Joe took off from work and we already paid for it.”

“Why go again Dad? The last three times you caught nothing and the weather was lousy.”

“Anita,” he said, ” there is always a chance that it will be different next time and I wouldn’t want to miss it!”

So, on this last day of 2010 I sit with this thought:

What is it that I have gone fishing for this year?

~a glimpse of my long lost abdominal muscles

~a night of dancing with no back pain

~a long walk with Scout right beside my left leg

~stimulating, engaging intimacy with Stan

~a haircut I actually like

~a legacy to leave someone

It wasn’t the year of the big flounder. In fact there was some really lousy weather. But since I am my father’s daughter, I will most likely keep showing up just because there is always the chance that 2011 will be different and I wouldn’t want to miss it!

I performed for the first time with Penn Strings on Sunday.  It was great.  We had a kind of simple ease together even though it was our first time performing together.  The set included everything from Beethoven to Coldplay, so there was no shortage of variety.  I can hardly wait for the next gig!

Contrast this with the fact that taxes are due in less than a month.  Lots of numbers, calculations, paper forms, confusing descriptions.  Thank goodness, my CPA takes care of most of it!

My music/recording studio has been in a shambles.  Between gigs, rehearsals, jams, PULSE, and being lazy after all of this other stuff is done, I had really let it go.  So, over the past couple of weeks, I really cleaned it up.  Well, actually I’m about half-way there.  I can see the floor.  OK?  So it’s a major victory.

I’m grateful.  And ready.  To take the next step.  Here goes.

Playful blessings…

(Here you go, technorati: PHAYQ8KRXTNP)

Our Monday night InterPlay/improv dance class does a movement meditation on the theme of “easy focus” to a loop I created in the moment before becoming the videographer.  Enjoy.

…And here, we do a favorite InterPlay improv form called postcards on Easy Focus. The round cards we’re holding up are from The InterPlay Inspiration Deck (created by Anita Bondi who also teaches the Monday night class).

You can see another version of this Easy Focus evening in the improv studio on the InterPlay Virtual Friday Blog.

Playful blessings…