Something beautiful is happening between Anita and me: we’re falling in love again. Maybe it’s the seven year itch finally bearing fruit — we’ve been together for about nine years. Maybe it’s that we’ve actually managed to practice what we preach by using the tools we have learned over the years in our own day-to-day relationship. We’ve even remembered to pull a card from Anita’s own InterPlay Inspiration Deck or role Gretchen Wegner’s MuseCubes a few times recently!
Mostly, I think it’s been about each of us learning to be more playful — both individually and in the ways we relate with each other. One of our playmates is our “rescue dog,” Scout. In addition to loving to hike, run in circles (usually around Anita or me), and play games with his stuffed toys, Scout likes to sing and talk. Sometimes these vocalizations just sound like grunts and sometimes they form random melodies. However they may sound, they always draw our attention to him.
A few days ago, we were involved in this deathly serious discussion. Anita was getting focused — I could tell because of the furrow in her forehead — and I was getting sad — and showing it. Suddenly, Scout stretched and performed one of his delightful little vocalizations right between us. We both laughed. And the moment was transformed.
So — unless you have a dog or a child to shift the mood — roll the dice or draw a card and relax into your life. Join us on a Monday night to experience the tools we use.
I loved my Lutheran Lenten group last night. The chairs were in a big circle when I arrived and Pastor Gail had already brought the piano bench in for our altar. As i began to set up for our mini-retreat, the group began to come in, one at a time. Howard arrived carrying a really large poster, framed in gold. At the bottom it said “Crystal Eyes.” I thought that was pretty bold for a Lutheran!
It was a 3-D picture. When you soften your gaze, (yes, take an Easy Focus) there is a balance that is achieved by your rod and cone vision, so that more of your peripheral vision field is used.
It is a more emotional, intuitive way of seeing the world. Score another one for InterPlay! In this picture a floating heart appears to come out of a center circle and then zodiac symbols magically arise out of that center and surround the heart. We worked on that last Wednesday, but I did not love my group that night. It was more like a job that night. So, with Howard by my side and the magic heart floating before my eyes, I softened and relaxed. Guess what? Everything shifted. Amazing? No, not really, but powerful nonetheless.
When Martha arrived, I went right over and hugged her! She was not expecting that and drew back a bit, smiling slightly. I took the hint as I stretched my hand out to warmly greet Jack. That seemed better, so I stuck with the handshake.
Notice from the InterPlay Inspiration Deck by Anita Bondi
Once everyone was settled we began with our theme for the night: Notice. I did a guided visualization/relaxation with a focus on noticing the places where we hold tension and tightness.
At one point I opened my eyes and that is when it happened. That was the moment I fell in love. The whole room was filled with the soft scent of Juniper, the warm glow of candlelight, and all of these brave souls that had come to experience a new way of being in their bodies. They thought they had signed up for an exercise class. That was not what I wanted to teach and frankly, I am sick of not pleasing myself! I brought exactly what I wanted to bring and it worked! Guess what? Everything shifted. Amazing? No, not really.
As I looked around the room, they all looked so peaceful, so trusting and vulnerable. I realized how much they were allowing me to guide them and to stretch them in ways beyond the ability to touch their toes. I almost cried. It was so beautiful. They were so beautiful. When they opened their eyes, I asked them to take a soft and Easy Focus and to Notice how they were feeling.
Howard said it was the most relaxed he had been all day and everyone nodded. We all took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh!
P.S. A Lutheran sigh is very quiet, almost inaudible. I am going to work on that next!
There is no title to this entry because I spent 3 whole minutes trying to come up with a catchy title and could not. What is there to say when one gets up at 6am and then, contemplates going back to bed at 8am? My dog has to go out, my bed has to get made, my clients will start arriving at 10am, my list of “to do’s” is a mile long, and all I can think about is lying around watching the rain dripping past the window.
On some level I know there is nothing wrong with that.
I have work to do though! Things to create! Things that have been created that need to get out into the world! Where is my focus? My drive? My motivation?
I used to do all of this stuff with the grace of an Olympic athlete, easily maneuvering the terrain, in excellent condition to push for hours on end. And, most importantly, I had the focus, the drive, the motivation that I am now in search of as I lay on my chaise lounge computer in my lap!
If I am complete in this very moment, why do anything? If i am loved just because I am, why bother getting up at all today? There has to be a reason to move forward.
Our Monday night InterPlay/improv dance class does a movement meditation on the theme of “easy focus” to a loop I created in the moment before becoming the videographer. Enjoy.
…And here, we do a favorite InterPlay improv form called postcards on Easy Focus. The round cards we’re holding up are from The InterPlay Inspiration Deck (created by Anita Bondi who also teaches the Monday night class).
Once again I’m sitting in my office wondering what the hell I’m doing here. Are you starting to see a pattern here? Don’t get me wrong: it’s not that I hate the work I do. I like making technology work.
“Too much confusion. I can’t get no relief.”
Trouble is that I see “making it work” from an incredibly idealistic vantage point. And I attach urgency to getting it working. In my original neurosis around this urgency, I left no room for genuine creativity and play.
“No reason to get excited…”
It’s taken me almost 30 years to transform this stressed out approach to my job into one that’s merely over-serious. To those of you who are easy-going, this will seem like no great feat.
Easy Focus round card from the InterPlay Inspiration Deck
“There are many here among us
That feel that life is but a joke”
To me, it was nearly insurmountable. Even after many years working and playing through this, I frequently have to remind myself about what’s really important. And none of it turns out to be “stuff.” In the end, I value my own well-being and my relationships the most. Easy to forget. Easy to remember.
“But you and I we’ve been through that
And this is not our fate”
“So let us not talk falsely now
The hour is getting late”
Is it ever too late to wake up to valuing what’s really valuable? No. But, the sooner and more often I wake up to it, the more time I have to enjoy it.
“Outside in the cold distance…”
I’m headed for some enjoyment now!
(Thanks to Bob Dylan for the still-relevant All Along the Watch Tower.)
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