I love to laugh at myself. I encourage others to laugh at themselves. Selves make silly mistakes, say stupid things, mess up. This (in my humble opinion) is no reason for feeling shame, hiding the truth, or creating defensiveness if caught.

What if we all simply “outed” our mistakes and laughed at ourselves? Whether it be a big thing like hurting someone’s feelings by sticking the proverbial foot in the mouth, or using the wrong word in a sentence, or, _____________.

I’ll start with a small one from my own day (after all ,incrementality is the only way to get anywhere)!

I woke up this morning so excited. I remembered that it was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and that I had just taken a picture of a jewelry piece that had a partial quote of his hand-stamped on it. The whole time I was getting ready for the day, walking the dog, eating breakfast, I was thinking about how I could do a blog post today and honor him and myself in the process! (self-promotion is not a bad thing, a hard thing, but not a bad thing.)

I downloaded my photos, picked the best one, and sat down to write what was going to be a simple two sentence blog post.

Suddenly it was not Martin Luther King, Jr.’s face that I saw but rather it was Gandhi’s face. So, here is where laughing at myself really comes in handy. They are clearly not the same person, do not physically resemble each other, and did not live in the same country. I was about to proudly post the quote, “BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD”, alongside the picture of my jewelry piece, and a link to Martin Luther King Jr.

I could have just let this go, after all, you would have never known about it. I caught it in time. This time. What about all the other times that I don’t? Laughing at myself and telling you about my mistakes makes me ask these questions? Do you  feel a bit better knowing that “you” are not alone in your mistakes? Do I feel a bit better knowing that you will still like me even though I mixed up two great but very different men? And will this put a big smile on your face right now and cause you to giggle or laugh at me, yourself, and the ways that we are all so unbelievably beautiful in our humanness?

PS. Is there a Gandhi Day? If not, I declare this day the day to “have a dream of being the change you wish to see in the world.”

This New Year I was not drawn to create resolutions, list goals, or make bold promises. This New Year I am called to live where my feet are at any given moment. Why my feet? One possibility is that they are not my head and in fact are no where near my head. My head, aka my mind, likes to wander, scatter itself all over the place, and muse about a lot of things (don’t get too excited…things like, dust bunnies, grocery shopping, dog pee).

I needed something to bring to my trance dance group last night. We were journal writing and dancing into the New Year. Usually we use a writing prompt brought to us years ago by Patti: Oh 2012, that was the year of ________, and then we write as if the year has already happened.

I was wanting something more (needing something stronger to pull me away from dog pee and firmly plant me in the present moment). But I also wanted something simple, as most people I talk to are feeling too complicated right now.

My InterPlay mentor and teacher, Cynthia Winton- Henry brought the perfect thing (click on her name for the whole blog post). Here is a line from her short, sweet, and seductive suggestion: ” That is why my letter for 2012 is Q for quiet, for quest, for question. may my heart be open. what is your letter for the year?”

Taking her lead, I made a bunch of cards with letters of the alphabet on them and let each participant choose one. I asked them to come up with three words that began with the letter to help guide them into the New Year. Our trance dance is broken into three 20 minutes sections and I invited them to hold one word at a time as an intention and then gave them a few minutes to journal or draw between each dance segment.

We also had some time at the beginning to write using our “old” writing prompt and our “new” alphabet letter invitation. Surprisingly or serendipitously (is that a word?) I also chose the letter “Q”. Here is the beginning of my journal entry:

Oh, 2012, that was the year of possibility, of Quivering into the Quiet Question and knowing, YES!

Here is a picture of the letters that did not get chosen last night. Pick one and let me know what your letter is for the year!

Here’s to living where our feet are planted in every moment of 2012!

Day 7 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck.

It’s a wrap! I  am officially  finished my week of giving you interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck for your personal home use.

BUT

AND

If you don’t have a deck,  you won’t be able to practice, and then you won’t be able to change your life.

OK

that was a bit strong, but you get the point…time to invest in yourself and your practice.

Here is one incentive: FREE SHIPPING! click here and then when you are ready to pay use the coupon code ABD3334 and away you go!

(pssst…this code will work for the jewelry on the site too!)

(double psssst….this code is only good until dec. 1st.)

Thank you so much for walking the path with me and giving me the inspiration to keep changing my life!

To read testimonials from people using the deck, click here.

Become a fan of the deck on Facebook here.

Follow me on Twitter here.

OR send smoke signals….

Any and all ways of connecting are welcomed!

Day 6 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck.

We have a saying in InterPlay…Change your practice, Change your life or is it Change your life, Change your practice?

I think the meaning is the same. If you wish to change your life then you must change your practice because if you do not the practices that are not working will continue to not work and your life will not change. This is not rocket science, right?

The real question is: Why is it so hard to change your practice? Experts have written many books on this subject; google it and you will find many videos, articles, etc., or just read what my friend Practice has to offer you. (She is one of the principles of InterPlay brought to life in the InterPlay Inspiration Deck.)

When Practice gets a hold of you, watch out! She is a goddess and knows what is best for you. Practice believes in self-improvement through the power of daily affirmations and repetition. Every morning for six months, she bought a beautiful amber colored mat to her friend’s house to do Pilates because the friend wanted more strength and flexibility. Practice is committed and dedicated. She knows that to change your life, you just need to change your practice. And she is willing to take your hand and walk with you every step of the way.

Some of the things I have learned from Practice:

• get clear
• show up
• feel the fear
• get help
• walk the talk
• keep going
• affirm yourself

There is so much that could be said but as I stated earlier: this is not rocket science, so find your practice, stick with it, and you will change your life!

I promise.

Day 4 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck.

Today in my small part of the world it is Thanksgiving. For some it is a day to be off from work, eat large amounts of tryptophan, and watch football. For others it is about spending time with family, friends, and reflecting on all that calls for thanks and gratitude.

This year I fall somewhere between the two. I notice that my body feels sluggish, my heart carries a heaviness, and my mind is scattered and unfocused. Personally, I am happy to notice these things as it means I am fully alive and fully human. I am also deciding that I do not want to spend the day in this energy and know that the principles and practices of InterPlay can truly come to the rescue!

Here is the process that I will use today and offer to you:

1. notice the ways that you are feeling – body, mind, and heart.
2. get out your InterPlay Inspiration Deck and hold the noticings as you shuffle. (don’t have a deck..what are you waiting for?)
3. allow a question or inquiry to rise to your conscious mind. today mine was, “it is thanksgiving and i want to know what i can do to have more thanks in my body and also what i can do to be more giving to those i come in contact with today?”
4. hold one question or inquiry at a time and pick cards.
5. muse, journal, exform, etc. with the chosen cards.

Read on for my personal process:

First, I have to say, “I am lovin’ this!” “I am always so amazed at what I pick when I use this process!”

The first question was about having more thanks in my body and I picked the AFFIRMATION card.

The second question was about being more giving and I picked the WITNESS card.

Another way to use the cards is to just see the symbol and color on the front and let that speak to you. I will model that method for you below….

My experience with Affirmation: I see the star and notice the color is yellow. Yellow reminds me of the sun and warmth and I notice the star makes me think of being young and getting stars on school papers when I did a good job. This makes me smile. I like the word affirmation as it seems positive and happy. I decide to bathe myself in yellow and look for something yellow to wear today to remind me of my message. My thought, ” thankfulness is present when I allow affirmation, like sunshine, to flood my being.”

My experience with Witness: I see the dark green windy path holding the word witness and my thought is, “this is a process right now, a path that I am on and I trust that if I follow it, I will be led to where I want to go.” For today I will be a witness, to myself, and those that I am with. I will honor and affirm who I am , who they are, and where we find ourselves intersecting. I will not work to fix or change anything. Witness asks me to just be present: fully, truly, wholly present.That is a kind of giving that I never really thought about before. It seems passive and yet I can feel that it has a lot of power.

Off to try it out! Happy day of Thanks and Giving wherever you are!

Day 3 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck

Sometimes I do a three card spread. This is a way to use the cards that is similar to what you might do when you pick tarot cards or rune stones or animal medicine cards.

In this spread we will look at past influences, current situations, and future action.

Let me explain.

I have in my mind a question I am holding that I would like to have more understanding and information about. (you may even wish to do some journal writing first to flesh out your question or do some exformation with a friend to get more clarity.)

This time I am going to spread the cards out on a flat surface and close my eyes and pick that way. (you can use any method for choosing that you wish.)

The first card I will pick signifies the past. This gives more information about what may have been at play to create the situation.

The second card signifies the present. This gives me more information about current energies at play.

The last card signifies the future and the action that can be taken to help the situation or give more clarity and direction.

If you are still with me and want more details I will do a sample spread below:

Question/Issue: I am struggling with my current work situation and some of the personal dynamics and wish for more clarity and some help to change the situation and the uncomfortable dynamics present.

Card 1. The past. Babbling (upside down is how i drew the card).

~the answer is not so clear to me so I read the story on the back.(each card has a story in which the principle or practice becomes personified through character, symbol and color.) From this I am able to see that one of the past issues has been a lack of babbling or talking (maybe why I drew it upside down). Most of us work as subcontractors and there has not been a lot of interpersonal communication. There is also a lack of clear communication and leadership coming from the directors. (I can say that because I am one of them)

Card 2. The present. Big Body

~this message was clear to me right away. For a while now I have been bringing the fullest expression of myself to the workplace. I have been willing to begin the hard conversations, to speak the truth, and “feel the fear and do it anyway.” Big body’s message is inviting me to bring all of me!

Card 3. The future. Grace

~what I feel in my heart at this moment is that if I acknowledge the “sins” of the past, make amends and apologies for my part in creating this situation, and stay committed to “Big Body” and all of its wisdom, then the result will be GRACE. The atmosphere around the office will be able to move out of stress and into ease/grace.

Amen to that!

Day 2 of interesting ways to use the InterPlay Inspiration Deck

Last week I brought the idea of connection to my InterPlay class.  Phil Porter introduced the idea of small circles of connection  a few years ago and I love to play with it often when leading groups.

Finish this sentence: I belong to a small circle of people who ________?  Some answers from last week’s class:

• wear hats all year long
• have my own website
• have red hair
• would not be caught dead without lipstick

From the ridiculous to the sublime these are the ways we connect with one another, find our intersections, or lack thereof.

Using the InterPlay Inspiration Deck, I asked the group to each pick a card. I invited them to hold loosely and lightly the question: Is there something that could help me feel more connected to myself and to others? Something that would aid and guide me when I am feeling stuck or scared in my relationship to myself or others?

Here are a few of the cards that were chosen:

• following and leading
• stillness
• improvise

I led the group through a variety of experiences using movement, noticing and contact.

Everyone had profound noticings about how to use their particular card to help them have more of what they want and desire in connection to themselves and those around them.

I will share some of my own. I used the closed eyes shuffle approach to choose my card. I got Following and Leading. The first exercise we did was a solo dance in our own small dance bubble. This was followed by a medium dance bubble solo dance and then a large bubble solo dance. The medium and large bubbles overlapped with other people’s bubbles which helped to begin the investigation of connecting with others. At first I was unsure about how to do following and leading with myself. Within minutes though I was filled with ideas: use my right side to lead and my left to follow, set up a pattern and follow it, take something in the room and follow that, use my feet to lead and my hands to follow. And when the dance bubbles overlapped I had even more fun following and leading with the bodies I came in contact with (whether they were actually aware of me or not!)

Some of my noticings about following and leading:

1. setting up something very simple and repetitive works best. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)
2. it is impossible to follow and lead at the same time. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)
3. when I am not clearly leading nor passionately following the dance falls apart. (this is so helpful in marriage, child rearing, and most interactions)

Now it is your turn. Get your own deck and explore the possibilities!

In case you missed yesterday’s post, I am attempting to shine instead of shrink. That is a difficult sentence to write as the little Catholic school girl in me is screaming, ” Don’t brag or boast! Be humble. Let someone else toot your horn for you.”

Well, let’s start there.

Day 1 of interesting ways to use The InterPlay Inspiration Deck has begun.

A bit of history:

~the deck is based on the principles and practices of InterPlay ( read more about that by clicking on InterPlay)

~the deck was created between 2008 and 2009 as a way for me to understand the principles and practices of InterPlay in new and deeper ways

~the cards have symbols, stories, and colors to help bring the principle or practice to “life”

Back to the little Catholic school girl….what could help her?

Some of you will say, “only years of very intensive, expensive therapy.”

Today, we will try a much more inexpensive way (only $19.95): we will pick a card from the deck and see how that may apply.

Here is how I am doing that.  I am noticing what it feels like in my body to have that energy of the Catholic school girl present and I am naming it.

~tightness in my chest and upper back

~lump in my throat

I am holding the deck in my hands while noticing my body sensations and will now shuffle the deck and pick a card.

In my mind I am holding the question, ” Is there anything I can do to help change the feelings and sensations in my body?”

The card I pick is Stillness.

I notice there is a chuckle in me and that I like the colors of the card…green and purple…I will close my eyes and let those colors bathe and soothe me while I take a few deep breaths.

Okay, I’m back and about to check in with my body.

~tightness in chest is gone but still a bit in upper back

~lump in throat gone

~ I also notice my eyes feel soft as do my fingers as I type this.  I feel more calm and yes, more still inside.

Wanting to see if I can do something about the tightness that still lives in my upper back.

The deck comes with a booklet that helps with more information about the cards and some “try this” exercises.

Today, I will go to the “try this” exercises and see if one may help with my back tightness.

Here is the one I am choosing:

Stare at a tree and see stillness in action. Watch the leaves and branches move and sway. Focus on the trunk and the notice the solidity of the tree. Focus on the roots anchoring the tree. What are your roots?

For today the deck has given me two things:

1. the courage to post this blog
2. a wonderful excuse to go outside for a run and stare at trees.

Off to lace up my sneakers!

Today, I am going to tell you what I intend to do.

Tomorrow, I am going to start doing what I am telling you I intend to do.

Why the wait?

~to build intrigue in you

~to build courage in me

~to figure out what will be meaningful for me so that I can actually intrigue you

~to figure out how to have the courage to actually claim what is meaningful for me

Are you Blog readers, Twitter followers, Facebook friends, or really inexpensive therapists?!

Okay here is my intention:

I intend to stop being afraid of promoting the InterPlay Inspiration Deck and give the world a chance to see what a great tool it can be for personal process and daily experiential growth.

Here is my plan:

I will write one blog post a day for a week.

I will feature various ways to use the deck.

I will be willing to “toot my own horn” and “shine instead of shrink”

That last one made me hyperventilate so I will stop there for now and just take some deep breaths.

See you tomorrow.  Let the week begin!

I will not tap my feet.
Though the rhythms and melodies you play
Conger up kicking off shoes and
Dancing barefoot in the grass,
I will not tap my feet.

Though my heart beats faster at the
Melodic buildup — as horn and keys
Latch together in the repetition of a theme,
Calling my heart and toes to a
Dance of thrill and amazement –
But no, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet, nor
Nod my head; though everything
In me is crying out for some kind of movement
To occur!
No, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet
When the guitar and sax drop out
To let bass and drums chase percussively
After each other in a playful, astoundingly
Structureless cadenza, filled with
Impulsive demands.
Even then, I will not tap my feet.

I will not tap my feet.
Though the pianist has spontaneously
Created a bit of magical funk
That was never previously inserted
In this “standard” of jazz stalwarts.
No, I will not tap my feet.

What’s this!
Did my head just nod a bit?
Unbidden, I can barely restrain myself
From rising straight to the dance floor,
For now, the whole ensemble is returning
To the original theme by some inaudible
Twist of jive and thrive.

Oh yes, I cannot just tap my feet:
I must move my head and spine and arms entwine,
Must move my torso, and more so
My feet.